You are a goddess. It all started on my twenty-first birthday when I realized I had become a man and acknowledged the suffering I had caused in my former life as a boy. That suffering is something that sits inside until it is worked out through the eyes. I had to witness with my eyes that my body was working to rid the self of the suffering, so I put my self into extreme situations that caused great emotional stresses like crying heavily and unashamedly. Within a few days of my birthday I had already confronted my father and step-mother with my lack of love for their situation in my youth, and I also paid a visit to my grandparents to let them know that I had done this. I felt so much like a man that I forgot how new I was at not being a boy and pretty much lost my inner focus on the outer world. This is what suffering is: mass auditory and visual hallucinations that were generaly leading me towards a young death. As my mind birthed into an awareness of infinity, I refused the trinity of it and slowly began to crumble. My mother--with her crazy psychic powers--was quick to see my plummet and rushed me to the hospital where I admitted that the devil was inside of me. A few crazy nights there and now I'm downtown at the Clarke Institute/CAMH where I am undergoing a drug free and voluntary personal mental convalescence. The strange part is that with my understanding, I am noticing that, while my body is that of a man, my mind has no sex really, and so my appreciation of the other sex has changed in some way. I have sort of lost my desire to mate, and so am looking forward to raising a family of adopted children in a loving environment. That is the update for the day.

LOVE - Tristan

PS - Thank you for loving me and waiting for my love of you. I have seen many things in my minds eye, but the future is the strangest. When will I see you?