I am downloading some authoring software to really get started on my DVD creation, and it is taking some time, so I've been doing some surfing and finding good stuff. I found an amazing guide for tweaking Firefox, plus one for tweaking the whole of my system, including my video card. I found a way to view all of this guy D-503's posts on a forum, and he is a wealth of information. So I finish tweaking my browser, and decide not to get into the full system guide because it is one hundred and seventy four pages long, and I'm waiting for this 1.2 GB software to download, plus my Simply Red Best Of album, and my Antonioni film that is sitting at 99%, so I decide to surf into an avatar based chat program to see for nostalgia's sake. There it was: the Palace.
I get it all set up and go in, and it is dead. I forget how to do anything with my avatar, and remember that the only reason I used to go there in the first place was because of the probablity I would see cartoon graphics of genitalia with the idea of people somehow attached to them. I walked around talking to one guy a bit--visiting all the old rooms I used to see when it was a busier place--every room was now empty, save three. Still, I blew three hours of sleep-time away. I quit and deleted the application, fuck that ghost.
fuck.
The authoring program I downloaded crashed my computer, and the other program I was going to use wouldn't work, so I'm trying a third and it is telling me that seventy-five hours is the right amount of time to wait for something like this to be done. All I'm trying to do is get the movie file of 'Blow-up' onto a DVD to watch on my player. It's showing me that 8% has completed, and that the task has been running for seven hours. Why do I do this? I have been cooking, knitting, absorbing the third season of Six Feet Under, which made me weepy. I am still knitting. For some reason, having food in my fridge makes me anti-social, as if the old hibernation bear finds no cause to leave his comforts. I am occupied, but not satisfied, and glad that I replaced what was here. I can't remove the soul from it, but neither can I remove the emptiness--like a well without a bucket, just to look down and see a reflection somewhere.
I am burning to write some exposition for this Kitarraps novel series. I have two ideas to explore in the main character of lonliness and relating. He does have some friends, but not of the same species, and no equal to share eternity. How long has he been like that, and what has he done to remedy his feelings, whatever they are. His human side is calling me to expose his inner wealth of mediocrity.
PEACE - Tristan
before || after
