Liz and I got through to each other, which means that I saw the shit ass I was being to her, and knew why on some level, and wanted to quietly back out of that feeling. I don't know what I want, but I have started to realize how scared I am to grow into my father's shoes because of how much he appeared to suffer when I knew him. I was only a child then, but I will always see somewhat with child's eyes. I guess I just had to acknowledge that, or see how Liz's reminding me of my step mother and of Nell really worked against my comfort level. We worked it out over e_mail and MSN surprisingly, but that is just how it happened. Now that I think about it, I may have just assumed that it had been worked out by what she wrote. Sometimes it can be true that people know how to write something better than they can accept and see behind them something similar. At least she understood enough to walk back a ways. I get cramped in too easily unless I step close myself.
Now I'm sick in a basement with rain falling above ground. I'll be better soon. I love watching King's 'The Stand' when I'm sick, because it makes me thing I've got Cap'n Trips or something, but really I hope to be well by next week. My mom and sis are coming to pick me up and take Josefina and me back to the house for the weekend. It will be nice.
MUN is peaking in my future. I think I--Fuck! I was supposed to pick up my transcripts from IAOD on Wednesday. I'll get them Monday. MUN never really asked for them anyway--may get accepted for the fall, then I would have something to look forward to that would be wonderful. My computer is starting to frustrate me. There are two things I want to do that it can't seem to pull off for me, or it's making me feel stupid for trying repeatedly and failing. Know how that is? It's been freezing on me too. I've had to reboot from the restart button on the hard drive numerous times this week. Not a good sign. I wonder if some of my hardware is past its halflife...
PEACE - Tristan
before || after
